Support

7 Day Happiness Challenge Day 3

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September 10th, 2014 Day 3 of the Happiness Challenge

1. Having a strong support system makes me happy. I am blessed to have a small but very special group of people in my life that I can always looks to for support. They are my shoulders to cry on, my sounding boards to vent to, and my most appreciated teachers. I love them dearly and I could not imagine my life without them. While they don’t always tell me what I want to hear, they tell me what I need to hear and this is invaluable.  I am grateful for their honesty, their empathy, their patience, and above all their unconditional love. Everyone could benefit from having someone in their corner and I’m lucky I have you all. 

“Encourage, lift and strengthen one another. For the positive energy spread to one will be felt by us all. For we are connected, one and all.” Deborah Day

2. Solitude makes me happy. Every so often one just needs a little time to themselves. Some time to regroup, to sit in silence and to reflect on life. I welcome moments like these as they can serve as times of healing. All too often we allow ourselves to be consumed by trivial things that do not serve us. We forget that we too need attention and care. I gift my self with moments of solitude as often as I can. It is good for my soul and it brings forth moments if clarity and renewed energy. 

“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” Michel de Montaigne

3. Painting makes me happy. Since the start of my pregnancy a lot of my painting has been put on hold. While I have not been able to work on larger scale pieces like I used to, I have been able to work on a few small watercolor images that I hope to one day give to my baby. It brings me to so much joy to paint. I get lost in my projects and time just seems to fly by. While I love seeing the final product I find that The in between time is the most fun. I strategize and play, I make mistakes and realize new options and overall  I just enjoy being in the moment. Art is absolutely magical. It warms my heart to know that the pieces I have created for my son will be hanging in his nursery soon. Mommy made them especially for him and I hope he likes them. Soon enough we’ll be painting together. 

“Painting is the silence of thought and the music of sight.” Orhan Pamuk

Ambition in the City 

 

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“YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE” A Misguided Teenage Perspective

yolo-2859Urban Dictionary Defines “You only Live once (YOLO)” as a stupid motto that countless teenagers live by, because it gives them the excuse to be promiscuous, commit crimes, drink underage, do drugs and deny responsibility for their actions.

Everywhere I go these days I keep hearing about this “YOLO Revolution” that is taking place among young people today. “You Only Live Once” is being used as a mantra among teens and young adults in an effort to justify what can sometimes be thought of as risky  behaviors. Whether you are contemplating engaging in unprotected sex, or in an irresponsible night filled with binge drinking, young people are cheering one another on with words of “YOLO” encouragement. Has this expression that was once meant to spark ones courage now being taken way out of context?

When I think of the expression “You only live once” I always thought people used these words to help them make sometimes difficult or challenging decisions in their lives. I recall repeating these very words to myself as a young girl when I was faced with a very traumatic experience. A family member had been unjustly taken from me and I yearned for a sense of control. The situation had a tremendous impact on my life and the way in which I was moving forward. I had begun to allow what others had done to impact the course of my life. I lost interest in the majority of my goals and began to question the purpose of it all. Why work so hard all your life to have it one day ripped from your grasp? This negative way of thinking had spiraled me into a pretty deep depression. I was angry, resentful and wanted answers as to why this all had to happen.  A few months went by, and I began to notice the damaging effects my thoughts were having on my life. I couldn’t recognize the person I saw in the mirror. Once full of ambition and an endless amount of passion for life, I now saw a negative thinking bitter young woman. I didn’t like the person I had become and realized that I had done all of this to myself. I had allowed the events that had occurred to take control of  my life. When I sought guidance from a loved one on the matter I’ll never forget the words that helped to bring me back. I was told that the decision to let the people who had done my family wrong affect my life was mine and mine alone. That by doing this I continued to let those people win. This person then said you only have one chance at life. Instead of sabotaging my future I needed to forge ahead on the original course I had plotted for myself. I need to take back the power and continue to be the sole author of my story.  People will come in and out of your life with both good and bad intentions. The way in which you respond to these individuals helps to shape the course of your life. Till this day ill never forget these words and I continue to live by them today. If you only live once then I plan on making this time I have matter.

“You only live once” is not an expression that should be used as a shield that excuses irresponsible or self-destructive behavior. It should be used as an expression that empowers you to make important life decisions that will mold and push you forward. Seizing the day is only good if what you are engaging in will bring about growth, enlightenment, or positive change. This concept can never replace a person accepting personal responsibility for their actions. Especially if what you are choosing to engage in is ultimately a form of self sabotage.

I can only hope that this expressions current definition is just  a passing fad. Our time is limited and therefore should be used wisely. Life wouldn’t be much if it were not filled with opportunities to make significant life changing decisions. One can only hope that todays young people have enough support and guidance around them to learn early on that the decisions they make today whether large or small will shape their tomorrow’s. -Ambition In The City  

This post is dedicated to my mom. I am always amazed by your strength and determination. We have experienced some very tough moments in life but you always help me to persevere. I love you. Young people today need more mothers like you.

Life Coaching

LIFE COACH IN TRAINING

Embrace Choice and Move Forward

I’m 28 years old and i decided to make a change in my life. After years of wanting to have my own business, I am finally taking the steps to make my dreams come true.

As a student of psychology for many years, I have always enjoyed engaging people. I like to think helping people to be better is why I was put on this earth. I have worked with the chronically ill, the mentally ill, the disadvantaged, and the physically drained. The one thing these people all have in common is “Choice”. Whether you are dealing with an illness or a barrier in life you always have a choice. The choice to overcome, to fight, or to change is always yours and yours alone. Your choices are only as limited as you make them to be.

Many people aspire to be a great many things in life, but only half of these people really make it happen. Why is that? Could it be due to fear, lack of resources, obligations, family. People come to me everyday with dozens of reasons why they “can’t” make a change in their lives. I am here to tell them “they can and they will”.

All to often when people share their “wants” and aspirations their positive thoughts are usually followed by various “limiting statements”. These statements come in the form of “i can’t because…”, “I don’t have enough time to..”,or  ”I don’t have enough money to..”. Think about the times you have shared a goal or desire with a family member or friend. How many times did these individuals listen intently to a dream you may have for yourself only to share their own limiting thoughts around how you might not be able to pull this off. Now I would like to think our friends and family members are only making these comments because they care about us. No one wants to see someone try and fail, but whose to say you’re going to fail if you haven’t even tried.

So what’s coaching? 

First and foremost, Life Coaching is very different then therapy. Therapy is usually focused on healing “old wounds” while life coaching assists people to move forward and take control of today. A therapist wishes to tap into your past to identify the reasons why you are where you are today. A life coach will challenge their clients to identify what they wish to improve upon, to get out of their comfort zone, and determine their preferred future regardless of their past. A Life coach is not there to fix your problems, but to help you uncover the options that have been available to you all along. Whether you are looking to improve your career, a relationship, your health, or physical well being, coaching can guide you to be your own intervention.

Looking for a coach to explore your next move in life. Contact me and let’s get started. -Ambition In The City-